this afternoon, i found space to breathe. i left the office early--the weather was beautiful. i took the trolley down to seaport village, a total tourist trap, but it has a fabulous bookstore called the upstart crow. i went to the upstart crow, poked around for a little bit and then got the best mocha drink ever--mocha amore, decaf french vanilla coffee, steamed chocolate milk and dark chocolate syrup. then i found a spot on the wall overlooking the bay and settled in to watch the sunset. there was a fog bank just offshore, past coronado island and slowly the sun was obscured by the fog. the water lapping the bank just under the retaining wall i was sitting on was somehow soothing. i began to feel like i could safely take a deep breath.
with my mocha and the sun both gone, i walked a few short blocks to anthony's, a seafood restaurant right on the bay. they have a little fast food version called the fishette. i got a bowl of chowder and a glass of cabernet and sat at table next to the water. as the sky completely darkened, the water became still. and beside that still water, i felt my soul begin to ease, to rest. and then the words came back to me...he leads me beside still water, he restores my soul.
it may take a little more time, more still water, but my soul will be restored.