Thursday, September 22, 2005

growing pains

when i was in 5th & 6th grades, puberty hit and i really hated it. i remember hating all the growing pains--being teased for being taller than all the boys, my changing body & figuring out how to 'grow up'. i remember crying myself to sleep wanting to just be done with it--to be all grown up. i remember my mom and my godmother telling me not to hurry it, it would happen soon enough.

but i don't remember either of them mentioning that there really isn't an end to it...that part of life is growing and changing. that there will be seasons of change and seasons of rest. i am grateful that i get to continue growing and learning to live more fully as the person God created me to be. but at the moment, i'm in the midst of one of those seasons of change and there's implications in all areas of my life. it's hard and uncomfortable.

and in the midst of this one of the hard lessons is sometimes my best isn't enough. i can't do everything perfectly; i can't make everyone happy all the time. that's hard for me. i'm a natural people pleaser--i really want to make people happy if i can. and there are times i just can't. i'm learning to be okay with that, to be okay with not pleasing everyone and to know that i'm still okay even though someone isn't happy. i think it's part of being more sure of myself, of believing more in who i am and trusting myself.

i'm sure when i get to the end of this season that it will be worth it, but for now, it'd be nice if they made a tylenol for growing pains.


Matthew McNutt said...

Good post! : ) Good thoughts.

Although, it reminded me of when my mom was a kid (not that I was there or anything); she was the tallest person in her class, had bigger feet than even the guys ... and her last name was Small. Ouch.

With your job, dealing with thousands of people, there are bound to be some unhappy at times. Don't let the few distract you from what the majority are feeling.

mindi said...

thanks for the encouragement. it'd be easier if it were just work stuff, but there's personal stuff too. the personal stuff is way harder than the work stuff, which is still hard.