comfort food, knitting & endorphins

i'm finally approaching the end of a challenging work project. it's one that has required creating fairly detailed systems and lots of minutia. while i'm perfectly capable of doing this kind of project, it's not necessarily something that energizes me. and this has become a stressful project thanks to a couple of curve balls and a tight timetable.

i've noticed that i've been gravitating to comfort foods. i'm trying to pay a little better attention to making better food choices since i've gained back several of the pounds i lost about 8 months ago. so, tonite for dinner i started with an appetizer, fat-free saltines topped with fat-free miracle whip and bread & butter pickles (hey, it's a delicacy from goldie's, a local tulsa favorite) and then i had a couple of low-fat hebrew national hot dogs on light buns with mustard and reduced-fat shredded cheese along with a side of frozen fries that i cooked in the oven. actually, it all tasted very yummy and was quite comforting. but my big downfall has been chocolate and it's usually easy to find in our office. of course, chocolate is the ultimate comfort food. when i came home, i picked up my new knitting magazine which had a little feature on why knitting is good for lowering your stress level, on how it's calming and what to combine with knitting for maxing the destressing benefits. on the list, drinking hot cocoa because chocolate releases endorphins which lower stress.

ah, the joy of comfort food, knitting & endorphins :)

wobbling around in my head

i went with friends to see last holiday one afternoon afterwork last week. it's ended up haunting me. now it's a comedy mostly but it has this theme of transformation. the thoughts around my own transformation keep wobbling around in my head--what am i afraid of? what's holding me back? how much of my old self do i have to or need to let go of? what am i stepping into? how do i step forward?

and at the moment i just don't have the time, space or energy to be comfortable with the questions, to be able to sit with them and let them wander thru my head at a pace that doesn't feel like finding yourself in the middle of street with a crowd of marathon runners coming at me at full speed. for now, they'll just have to wobble about and i'll have to find a way to be comfortable with my discomfort...

nesting

it's been hectic and a little stressful at work trying to get everything done for the core tour. our first shipping day is just a week away so the clock is ticking. tonite i can home and really needed to unwind.

i realized for me unwinding is either retail therapy or nesting. tonite it was nesting. i made cupcakes, knitted and plotted ways to rearrange the bedroom area since i got a new bed. it'll continue in the morning with making pancakes. then sometime during the day i'll actually move the furniture. in the evening i'm going to a friend's for dinner so i'll take the cupcakes.

i think i love the nesting because it feels cozy and soothing. there's something satisfying about making my home warm, inviting and comfortable even for just me.

good news?

the good news? is that there's not a stress fracture visible in the xrays, which indicate a severe strain and/or contusion. the advice is to wear sensible shoes and stay off it as much as possible. i hate soft tissue injuries. they don't heal as quickly as fractures and, unless you have a compound fracture, fractures usually are much less painful once you cast it. i've been told to suck it up for another week or two and if it's still not better, i can go back. *sigh*. i have a closetful of cute shoes that is becoming rather lonely and neglected.

i have these really fabulous green suede wedges that i've only worn twice. and tonite i found a totally adorable green purse to match them. if only i can wear the shoes soon!!!!

return of the klutz

in my mid-twenties, i went thru a really klutzy, accident-prone phase. in about a 3 year period, I had a few injuries:

• sprained ankle with two broken toes (ugly foot thing & crutches)
  
• sprained wrist (large wrist brace)
• twisted knee (knee brace)
• whiplash (no brace)
• broken wrist one (cast)
• knee blow-out (ankle-to-hip knee brace, crutches, and surgery)
• broken wrist two (cast)
• sprain knee (brace and crutches)

i got to know the docs at our sports med clinic rather well. and then--fortunately--the phase ended.

in oct. my foot was squished between the beverage cart and the seat in front of me as i had dozed off and my foot drifted into the aisle. it bruised and was tender but i survived. i just noticed i had to pay attention to not wearing heels for more than a few hours at a time (normally i can wear them for 18 hours and i love cute heels!). then in december, i slipped and turned my foot awkwardly. naturally it was the same foot from the beverage cart. a month later the only shoes i can wear without being in pain are my sneakers and my foot is still swelling. it cramps and aches and is generally uncomfortable. today i finally got into my doctor who's sending me for xrays. he used the phrase stress fractures. fractures. plural. as in more than one. i'm trying not to freak out. my feet are important. not just because i like walking around on them, but because i have a closetful (really people are appalled by my shoe and flipflop collection) of cute shoes. i'd just be devastated if i can't wear my cute shoes. they'll take the xrays in the am and then let me know. *sigh* i just hope this isn't the beginning of another klutzy phase.